8/2/07

LSAT Angst

I remember you LSAT. I remember: how you consumed my life 205 minutes at a time, how your five sections blurred together and how the essay tested my will to stay and not just leave, how I hated proctors who clicked their pencils and chugged their sodas, scratched themselves and generally made annoying noises for all 205 minutes. I remember how it wasn't really 205 minutes. Despite the fact that 5*35+30=205. Instead you employed self absorbed proctors to drone at us and treat us like we were kindergartners who needed to be warned to take advantage of bathroom breaks, to not eat salty snacks during the break as they would make us thirst and that by no means would liquids be allowed other than during the break and that we shouldn't even have them then as they did not want us using the bathrooms. Instead of treating us like the adults we are and allowing us to plan our time according to our own pace you insisted on your proctor minions informing us every so often how little time remained by scratching the time remaining onto the chalkboard in a manner similar to a knife on a wet stone, slowly and with deliberate precision. Yes, LSAT, I hate you. Not because you tested me under timed conditions, something I have never enjoyed. Not because you forced me to learn how to do logic puzzles, a skill not necessary for 1L test taking. Not even because you charge me to take a test. I hate you because you force me to share a room with a bunch of people who, when placed under high stress or in the proctors cases high levels of boredom, make the most annoying fidgety noises which I just can't stand! Hubby has graciously volunteered to be in the room during all of my practice LSATs to help with timing and supply his usual amount of popping, cracking, scratching and fidgeting noises that he would normally get fussed at for making. He is looking forward to it. Um, yeah, I'm not. I want to go back to my study pattern of iPod + solitary confinement equals memory retention, but yeah, that didn't work so hot for me last time. Today is the beginning of my LSAT prep round two. Wish me luck. Hubby could probably use some too. He doesn't have anonymity protecting him and he's enjoying himself way too much. I have been very tempted to lob something at him.