Take Me to Bed Red

This afternoon was day two of hubbies trip for Army. He's totally out of touch this time, which makes it seem 10 times longer. I got caught up on laundry and vacuumed in places I didn't know I had places. I am now perched on the sofa, sipping a huge mug of tea, watching Anderson Cooper (yummy) while I wait for my nails to dry.

There is a London Butter nail salon in the Seattle airport and I have spent enough time laid-over there to have stopped by a few times. There is nothing like a foot massage and some fresh paint after 34 hours of flying. I used to buy whatever nail polish, but I really have stuck with the Butter London product since I started using it. It goes on way better than Opi and is a 3 free company meaning their products contain no Formaldehyde, no Toluene and no DBP. (known carcinogens) The color you see above is Take Me To Bed Red, not too orange, not too blue, just the perfect red for feeling pretty, even when you're all alone. ($14)

Thinking

Who needs a winter wardrobe when the world has warm husbands? Happy Valentines everybody.

Hawaii Wishlist

Hawaii Wishlist

Hubby has an upcoming trip to Hawaii in May for an Army meeting. He'll be busy 3 days and they will pay his airfare, but we are planning on extending the trip a few days on either end and spending a week there total. It is providing just the necessary motivation to stick with the Weight Watchers meetings and complete food journaling. I call this image my Hawaii wish list. If my wishes are full filled I'll be wearing the two-piece bathing suit, but I would be content rocking the coral colored one piece as well. I could totally go a full week packing only the items above. Two dresses and two pairs of shoes and a cardigan to throw over-top in the evening. One of the dresses is nice enough to go to dinner in at night. All I would add is some toiletries, a pair of jammies and maybe my new Macbook for blogging. A girl can dream anyway, especially in this weather. So that's my wish list.

Help for Military with Finances

This is a post I was sharing with fellow military families in my husband's unit. I have edited out the non-applicable parts before posting it here, but it is still geared towards Army and Reserve. I found the response that I got pretty surprising. I didn't realize how few soldiers knew what resources were out there for them so I'm posting it here, just in case it is useful to anyone.

Finances are always an issue that all families, not just military ones struggle with. So this months topic is financial readiness and resources for you.

I don't know where to begin!
Attached you will find a pdf copy of Suze Orman's 2009 Financial Plan book. (This was available as a free download fro Oprah.com for a week, but is now pretty easy to find on Google. You can also buy it here.) It is an easy read that teaches you a lot of terms that I found confusing, and gives you step-by-step actions that you can take to get yourself off to a sound financial start for 2009. It is also written very recently so it takes the current "bad market" into account in all of its advice.

I'm so disorganized!
When can you throw that receipt, bank statement, check book register, etc. away without panicking (assuming you shred it of course). Suze Ormon ~ Financial Clutter, What To Keep And What To Get Rid Of

Can I talk to somebody locally?
The Army has an office on most posts called Army Community Services, and each of them have a Financial Readiness Program (FRP) whose goal is to assist all soldiers, retirees, and families with improving their financial situations. Our local post is Fort Wainwright and they have a Financial Readiness Program Handbook that will give you a good idea of what these types of programs have to offer.

I need new ideas, I'm stuck!
Blogs:
Money for Military - This daily blog offers tips geared towards military members and their dependents. Everything from how to get military pricing on Disney Land tickets to GI Bill advice. http://www.moneyformilitary.org/ (look here for older posts: http://moneyformilitary.blogspot.com/)

Two of my other personal favorites, albeit without a military spin, just common sense:
Get Rich Slowly - http://getrichslowly.org/blog/ (just like dieting, saving takes time, but is worth it)
My Money Blog - http://www.mymoneyblog.com/ (this guy dug himself out of $35,000 in debt and shares his advice)

Where should I focus first?

Do I have too much debt?

How do I start saving?

Do I have enough insurance?

None of the above, but still confused?

Companies like USAA offer financial advice as well as banking/insurance services. Military One Source can also point you in the right direction. Either call their 1.800.342.9647 number or go to their website. (http://www.militaryonesource.com) They have a whole separate Money section, customized for Army Reservist and their families.

Military OneSource, in partnership with National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC), offers six counseling sessions per financial issue, per calendar year for each eligible client. These confidential sessions are available to active-duty, Guard, and Reserve members (regardless of activation status) and families located in the U.S. For those unable to attend in-person counseling or in locations where in-person counseling is not available, Military OneSource will provide telephone consultations.

I hope this helps you get off to a great start in the new year.

Way to Win Hubby Points

Hug me before you pet the cat even though he's so excited you're finally home from work that he's jumped up on your back and wrapped himself around your shoulders like a fur stole.

Not Everyone is Cut Out for Napping

The fact that people say you should get 8 hours of sleep a night really is an average. My husband for instance continually amazes me be cheerfully hopping out of bed, eating breakfast, dressing in a color coordinated outfit, feeding the cats, brushing his teeth and washing his face plus occasionally showering and shaving before leaving for work. I, on the other hand, with an equal amount of sleep barely manage to assume a mind over mattress vertical orientation after the 3rd snooze button session, eating no breakfast, and wake up at my desk 20 minutes after leaving my pillow wondering who let me out of the house in that outfit and grateful that I at least have something on both my top and bottom and wishing that I kept a hairbrush and toothbrush at work, not to mention makeup and a spare outfit.

There will always be people who can live with 4-8 hours a night and "not only walk the following morning, but also make remarkably informed fashion decisions; and those of us who need "eleven" or more hours of sleep if we even hope to fall successfully onto the wooden floor beside the bed." as Dooce says.

Like Dooce, I remember taking kindergarten naps. The other kindergartners would bring balls to throw back and forth during nap time, eager for the time when they could all hop up and begin doing kindergarten things again. I on the other hand could completely zonk out and get some real rest during that time. My husband falls into a whole other category. I imagine him lying on the mat in kindergarten, his teacher shaking him awake, wiping the drool off of his face and creating a complete zombie for the rest of the afternoon. He may be able to fully function on only 6 or 7 hours of sleep instead of my 9-11 hours, but that man just isn't cut out for napping. As much as he may whine about wanting a nap I know its better to just send him packing to bed, because if he naps he'll be a zombie for the rest of the evening. Amazingly enough the man can sleep on planes like a baby whereas I, who fly 150,000 miles a year, can't sleep at all. I guess there are trade-offs. Wouldn't want both of us to be the same way, we would either never both get to work on time in the morning or both walk around airports like zombies unable to string a sentence together.

Goings On

Weigh in went well. I was down -.4 lbs. Doesn't seem like a lot, but it represents several small victories. Thanksgiving is a big deal with my family and there always half a dozen options in addition to the basic turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls and pie. I picked things that I don't usually have as every day items the rest of the year, filled my plate with 1/2 veggies and ate only one plate. I was a slow eater so I was eating steadily through the same amount of time as others went back for 2nd and 3rd plate fulls. I was so proud of myself. 

I am even more proud because this week also involved a bunch of stressful family and Army events. My husband was promoted into a new position in the reserves. No change of rank or pay, but a big change in responsibility. He now is responsible for 150 soldiers and 13 million in equipment, a very hard thing to manage well as a reservist with a full time life already. This is placing huge demands on his time. 

We worked on setting up his office again and are re-instituting date nights. This one night a week where he agrees not to do Army stuff and we do something together is important. We did this when I was in grad school and tended to just pick at doing my homework rather than focusing on it. We set up date nights which forced me to do my work more diligently and then set aside time for us. We also made a road trip with my in-laws and stayed with my parents for 3 days, all in one week! I would have been happy with all of the family events, holidays and social occasions this week just to maintain weight wise, I was ecstatic to lose.

So lesson learned, plan ahead for social occasions and that takes a lot of the emotional aspects of eating out of it. 

His Europe Packing List

I've received more than my normal hits on this blog since posting my packing list so I figured I would add hubbies to the mix. Unlike me, his 3-1-1 bag will probably have aftershave and toothpaste in it and he'll rely on a combination of bar soap and hotel freebies the whole trip. I have also shifted some of the books into his bag and he'll be holding onto a few of our common items such as the laundry supplies and camera.


Hubby will also be toting along the 3 Skype phone. Not yet available in the US, I am going to be given one when we land in Europe to review. Hopefully my review will help future world travelers who are thinking about traveling abroad and renting or buying a Skype phone. I'm certainly looking forward to putting it through its paces. It will have tough competition, stacked up against my Nokia N95 with its 5 mega pixel camera, video camera, wifi internet, GPS and maps features, and Skype through Fring. And no, I'm not being paid to do this review, I'm just trying to make life easier on my fellow travelers and satisfy my geeky curiosity.


The reviews I've read say that the "3 Skype phone will allow users to make free Skype-to-Skype calls and send free instant messages over 3G, in addition to making normal phone calls and browsing the Internet. 3's Skype phone also packs a 2-megapixel camera, Bluetooth, an expandable micro SD card slot (up to 1GB) and weighs a pocket-friendly 85g. The star feature however, has to be the ability to make cheap Skype calls. You can call friends or relatives anywhere in the world via Skype and not spend a penny, or have to be tied up to a laptop or PC -- we like."


We'll see how it pans out. Going to Europe without my laptop has me more than a little freaked. I was browsing the Sony website looking at their 1.8 lb laptop models and even considered the Macbook Air, but I'll just try to settle for cell phones and Internet cafes. We'll see how the blogging goes with the minimal electronics plan.


Back to hubbies packing list. It features REI Adventures pants which actually look like pants, not hiking pants and they don't go "swish" every time he walks which is awesome. They are also kind of soft and feature great little security pockets for wallet, passport, etc. so he'll be happy. My man judges the quality of any garment by the distribution and quantity of pockets.


Also included are more than a fair share of Horny Toad shirts. After I wore my modal shirts from them for several days solid, including biking back and forth to work, with no sweat stains, stink, or discomfort he was sold that the brand was more than just cute and soft. When I found coupon codes for 30% off on top of their sale which is already 30% off he took the plunge. 60% off some awesome travel t's and button downs...awesome. Code is: 38630 for 30% off any order over $125 placed on www.hornytoad.com or simple for 20% off any purchase, both work as of last night.

To explain the jacket situation, I am always cold and will probably wear my jacket in Paris and London 75% or more of the time (probably just the pashmina in Italy). He, on the other hand, won't bring his jacket at all unless it is currently raining. So on bad weather days he'll bring his real jacket and on other days he'll stuff his Marmot Ion jacket which weighs 3 oz in my purse or his pants pocket to pull out only if absolutely needed.

The rest is pretty self explanatory. I am making him bring the long sleeve shirt for the one formal dinner I know we'll have at my conference and the sweater for layering purposes (he probably won't use it). He is bringing along 550 cord, which will serve who knows how many uses, the primary one being as our clothes line. He showed me an old Army trick for using it as a clothes line which convinced me not to buy one of those surgical rubber models. He stole one of my large Tom Bihn packing cubes and fit everything but his pants in it. Maybe I'll have to steal his Absolute Strap and we'll call it even. If it weren't for the shipping cost I'd order a few more cubes and the strap, those things are awesome. And yes, it all fit in his Aeronaut, including his shoes which he'll actually wear on the plane, with tons of room to spare. Yay, more room for souvenirs.

Feedback appreciated...

Packing for the Man

Hubby doesn't see the need to pack this early in the game. He kind of laughed as he watched me take over the living room, laying things out, putting things back, arranging outfits on the floor and then weighing everything after checking it off my packing list. Then I asked him what he was planning on bringing and given that he won't be wearing shorts and t-shirts the whole time (his normal summer casual uniform), but pants and polos, he reevaluated the need for early planning. All of his work pants and khakis work in Alaska and are 100% cotton. This makes them unfriendly for hot weather and hard to wash as we go. He also has suit pants, which are not travel or weather appropriate. His last option is his hiking pants of which he has two pairs. The first of which have zip off shorts which act like rubber bands on his thighs. Even though the rest of the pant fits, they look awful. The second pair are so loose they look like MC Hammer pants. Men's travel pants are really hard to find.

I first turned to google. A surprising amount of men wear the zip-off pants as travel pants, blech. Being an extensive traveler myself, I never see those pants on the locals, unless I'm actually out hiking. I looked on the OBOW (one bag one world) page, but they didn't seem to have any good finds on their "Solution to the pants problem" post. I went to stand by stores Eddie Bauer, REI, and Dockers which left me with a couple options.

• The REI Adventures Pant, which were reviewed as having problems with pilling.
• Dockers Championship Pant Pleated are nice because they are non-cotton, they are reinforced for men bending over while lining up their golf shots, and designed for hot weather. I didn't like the pleated part of them, which adds bulk around the middle to even the thinnest of guys.

By this time I realized why we buy all of his clothes at Eddie Bauer. Their excellent return policy means that as he wears out his pants I can steadily replace them for free and their website is a one-stop place to get items for a 6'-2" guy who wears a size Medium-Tall. Most men's clothes brands don't sell Medium-Tall and in general shopping for men's clothes is boring. I wouldn't do it at all, except for the fact that he would literally wear his current wardrobe until it fell off of him threadbare if I didn't encourage him in the fashion department. I basically do the research, line up a couple options for him and then he picks what he wants. Eddie Bauer was a god-send, I get the catalog in the mail, and he just leafs through and sticky notes what he likes. I can almost always find a coupon code, and if anything ever doesn't work out, we just send it back.

Next option was actually me getting bored while shopping on "men's websites" and wandering over to more familiar hunting grounds, stores hubby wouldn't be caught dead walking into because they rely on actually trying things on. This usually isn't even an option. In Fairbanks, Alaska there isn't too much of a chance for shopping. I wouldn't torture him by shopping on vacation so we're usually web shoppers. I found out that Old Navy, Banana Republic and GAP all allow combined shipping. Banana Republic has one pair of Relaxed Linen Pants which are lightweight, breathable, and have a flat front, but they somehow don't look like something I can talk him into. I'm considering ordering them anyway just to try them. I'm planning on justifying it by getting a couple shirts which are amazingly offered in Medium-Tall and breathable linen. I'll wait until I can dig up a coupon code.

It's looking like his packing/shopping is going to take awhile. That or at the last second he'll stuff some items in a bag and say that he is going with the Tim Ferriss Buy It There style of travel. When all is said and done his bag will probably weigh less than mine even after I foist off the guidebooks and electronics into his bag. Oh well. I'll let you know how it turns out. Hubby is used to one bagging and one outfitting it with the Army. One bag of green and camo clothes and one carefully chosen outfit that will get him through almost any situation, dinner out, sightseeing, shopping, or chilling with the guys. I'm not too worried about his packing, just his laundry, if he ends up bringing 100% cotton khakis, either he'll wear one pair the whole time or we might be dealing with damp laundry on the train. Men are complicated, and their clothes are boring.

Uncharted Too Scary

I've been enjoying our new PS3 primarily as a Blu-Ray player. Kids animated movies really show up great and I can tell a difference in the video quality with those types of films. Major action movies also show up noticeably different. The rest don't have too much added value in the Blue-Ray format, so I can keep having Blockbuster send me DVD versions of those.

Before he left Hubby played through Call of Duty IV and I played a few levels before we turned the rental back in. Enough to realize that apparently my childhood lack of console gaming left me without a fundamental grasp of how controllers are supposed to work. I had to play on the easiest level and even then, half the time, by the time I figured out how to look in the direction I was being shot from, figure out how to reload my gun and shoot, I was dead or very wounded. With hubby gone for awhile, I figured I'd work on my six-axis controller skills and so I bought Uncharted. It's basically a modern day Indiana Jones where the main character explores ancient south american ruins, ruining them even more in the process, kills a bunch of bad guys, etc. I enjoyed the puzzle like aspect of most of the levels. It wasn't a strictly shoot-em-up type game and had a decent plot. I got all the way to level 15 or so, then like the most recent Indiana Jones movie, they had aliens/monsters show up. I tried, I really did try to finish the game, but I just can't take suspense. I don't watch horror movies, not because of the blood and guts, but because I can't get startled or deal with knowing I am going to be startled. The game just got too scary for me to calmly shoot the aliens/monsters and I ran out of ammo and promptly died. If they were normal jungle troops, no problem, but scary monsters which move on the walls and ceiling I can't deal with. I'll have to let hubby play past the scary part and then keep going when he gets back. I told my guy friends and they all laughed. This game is not scary at all according to them. This launched them into a discussion of which games are actually scary like AVP2 and a bunch of others I hadn't heard of. Oh well, call me a chicken, but I just don't do scary, even a little bit.

So what did I do instead? It was too much effort to go out and rent something, there was nothing on cable, so for the first time in my life I used pay-per-view. For $2.95 I watched 27 Dresses, got a few laughs and went to bed. Shameless chick-flick which made me feel like I'd lost a few brain cells by the end of it, but it definitely wasn't scary. To prove to myself I'm not a totally lame and shallow girl who only watches girly movies, tonight I rented the new Rambo IV movie. While there was plenty of action, I must say that it was a shameless ripoff, barely 90 minutes long, and only made it to theaters everywhere because of the success of the earlier movies. Some series should just stick with 3 movies, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Rambo. More is just shameless, unnecessary, and a waste of 90 minutes.

Soup for the Single Gal

Soup is really the perfect food. There is such variety that with only $12.00 you can feed yourself for a week. It is perfectly portioned so that you won't have tons of little containers of leftovers in your fridge at the end. It takes mere minutes to heat. Its great for finals or other occasions when you really don't feel like cooking, but have exhausted your tolerance for delivery. Usually the only ingredient required is water and should you overbuy on soup and end up with a surplus lying around the house, you can always say that you are preparing for the next natural disaster by stockpiling supplies. I once met a family who kept years of food in the house in case the rapture happened after the tribulation, they had tons and tons of soup.

Today's choice was Amy's Organic Thai Coconut Soup. It has a mere 220 calories, making it a very sensible dinner and costs $2.50, which is way less than the take-out alternative Tom Kha Phak at my local Thai place. It doesn't have any onions like my local Thai place which has tons of onions in it so I might try and get hubby to try it. He absolutely hates onions. The coconut taste is light rather than overwhelmingly sweet and it has shiitake mushrooms and slices of sweet potatoes which were unexpected and yummy. I'm not fond of the tofu, but there wasn't too much of it. I may try and throw some shredded chicken in there when I make it again.

We'll see how long my soup kick lasts before I either run out of earthquake supplies or breakdown and go to the grocery store. After last nights incident with the milk-less mac and cheese and this morning's subsequent granola sans milk, I'll probably have to make at least a small grocery run very soon. Hmm...I wonder if I could go the whole 21 days that he's gone without grocery shopping? I could come up with some interesting dinners with my bare cupboards. Eh...probably not. It's still quite uninspiring.

Dinner for One?

Cooking for one is so uninspiring sometimes. This weekend I subsisted on a frozen pizza and fridge leftovers. When I'm sick I don't feel like eating much anyway. Today I pretty much scraped the bottom of the barrel and made mac and cheese without milk. I'm glad I smelled it before putting it in, because trust me, mac and cheese without milk is better than with spoiled milk. Thankfully I had a good size lunch. My brother-in-law and all of hubby's guy friends took me out to eat which was really sweet of them. I'll have leftover Pad Thai tomorrow for lunch. Hopefully I'll get together a shopping list tonight so I can hit the grocery store after work.

After all my greasy cheesy, leftover microwaved food of the last few days I'm feeling the need to go healthy for awhile. I'm craving vegetables, tea, juices and otherwise fresh cooked work intensive foods. I'll have to dig out my South Beach Diet cookbook for inspiration. Unlike Atkins where I lost 20 lbs in 30 days eating nothing but hot dogs and cheese when hubby was off at ROTC (and promptly gained it all back), South Beach tastes healthy and has resulted in my only long-term weight loss when I combined it with increased exercise. I'm hoping to create a little yoga space in our newly renovated washer/dryer workout room. It's really hard to do yoga on carpet and there really isn't room in the kitchen.

I also want to get back into fencing. The problem with having a competitive sport as a hobby is that getting back into it can be really intimidating. You know you should be beating the other person or at least making an account for yourself and instead you feel glued to the floor while your muscles no longer behave as they should and you're getting stabbed. Your watching your own body move in what feels like slow motion, your brain moving at one speed and your body following behind on a delay. I want to get back into fencing, but I have the feeling that I should be in better shape first. Thankfully with the summer weather right around the corner, I'll no longer be confined to the elliptical in the spare bedroom and will be able to jog around the neighborhood. Last year I did the couch to 5k program with good success. Perhaps I'll have to start that again once it gets warm enough.

My First Real Memorial Day

Memorial Day means so much more when you've lost someone who is close to you. I guess it really hit me tonight when I hung my American flag on the front porch struggling to reach with my husband oversees on Army orders. My cousin died November 7, 2007. I watched his burial in Arlington. I'll return to his grave whenever I visit D.C. He believed he was where God wanted him and had a real purpose in life. For that I am very happy, despite my personal sadness.

Sick, but still Inspired

Day 3 of 3 day weekend/Hubby's Army duty, and what have I done? I've done almost nothing. I was ambitious with my to-do list, planning on getting all of my gardening and yard work done, buying my home improvement supplies, cleaning the house top to bottom, cooking healthy meals to take left-overs to work all week, the list went on and one. Instead I felt like total crap. I finally drug my sick self out of bed right before Lowes closed on Saturday to save $160 on all the supplies. We also saved 15% +10% at Sears on our washer/dryer. They were having a 15% off sale + 10% off on Kenmore. The washer and dryer we wanted were Whirlpool Duets . The store gave us the Kenmore discount after a little persuasion when I pointed out that Whirlpool makes Kenmore and we could get 10% off +10% off for military at Lowes. We agreed to buy the 3-year warranty and they gave us the extra 10% off. Of course, we can cancel the warranty any time within the first year, so I'll get that ~$500 back later. All in all, with the money we got from the City and the discounts I was able to negotiate we got a way better washer/dryer set for about $1,000 of our own money. We could have replaced the ones we had with equivalents for far less, but it was important to me to get Energy Star appliances and I wanted a front-loader to save 70% water per load over a top loader. Saving money and going green are both ideas I can get behind.

The rest of the weekend wasn't nearly as productive, I basically laid on the sofa feeling sick, lonely and sorry for myself. I watched way too much HGTV, Food Network and Law and Order. Normally having time to just do my own thing would be nice, but when you don't have anyone else around and you're feeling bad its just lame. Normally I have the best husband in the world. No matter if I have a slight headache or he's the one holding my hair for me while I puke he always cares for me as if I'm on death's door. He generously gives me his zealous attention, taking care of my every need. My sister thinks I'm just high maintenance, which I probably am, but its hard to say no to someone who willingly hops up and runs for the Tylenol for you, covers you with a blanky and sits through a marathon of home improvement shows and girly movies just because he knows they make you feel better.

I'm still going to get my to-do list done before he gets home. When we first met and I saw his dorm room I was amazed. Everything was lined up, organized, minimal, and totally decluttered. He is still the neat one in the family, and having a clean house is a big zen moment for him, which totally destresses him. It doesn't happen often that the house is guest ready, but I try to make an effort to give him a clean house to come home to. If I could also get the renovations done and some of our projects finished it would be such a great way to say thank you to the man who takes such good care of me. Hopefully I won't feel like this too much longer and I can actually get started on some of these projects.

For the first time since I was 18 I'm not currently enrolled in any classes this semester. I have been taking classes fall, spring and summer semesters solid. In some ways I'm addicted to school. It's strange to not be doing something, learning something. I love new school supplies, the feel of a new (I could never buy used) textbook, and have a tingly sensation when I obsessively hit reload on the grades web page at the end of each semester. I guess I'll substitute transcript watching for highlighting when I start my Patent Bar review. The books look enormous. Vast swaths of white paper ready for my multi-colored highlighters and sticky-note collection. Ah, now all I need is some hot tea, I'm feeling inspired to start studying.

Advantages of Being a Military Wife

The City looked like it was going to take a long time to respond to our claim, leaving us with a mess of a house for months on end. They wanted more quotes from contractors, our insurance information, detailed photos, the list kept going. Then my husband sent them an e-mail which asked them to CC me on correspondence because he's going out of the country on military duty and the very next day they called with an offer! I can't help but thinking its because they felt bad making a military family wait and they decided to settle. They didn't give us the full amount of our claim, but close enough that with some careful budget planning I should be able to get the house put back together.

Hubby left last night for Germany for three weeks for his annual training with the Reserve. It really stinks to have his training in the summer. In Alaska, there aren't that many weeks of summer and having him gone for three of them really cuts into the summer. I am going to try and get the house back together while he is gone and begin studying for the Patent Bar. For whatever reason, when he is gone I am way more productive. I think it's because instead of getting home from work and trying to figure out what we both want to do, waiting around until we have consensus or worse yet, sitting in front of the TV, there is only me and I don't have excuses for not getting things done. When he's gone it's so quiet that unless I'm doing something it's really easy to be lonely.

One of the other advantages of being a military wife on memorial day are all of the sales. Lowes has 10% off for military, which I'm going to use to replace our ruined washer and dryer from the flood. I'll also pick up a few things for the flooded room.

Of course there are many disadvantages to being a military wife. I still feel isolated and a little bitter at times. We have been lucky so far in that he hasn't been deployed. This is his units year to go so the constant threat of that happening really hangs over us all the time. I was actually enrolled in law school last fall with tickets to move to Arizona and start my 1L year at ASU. I had the perfect schedule of classes and everything was falling into place. But, then we found out that he might have to be deployed as soon as October and there was just no way that I could deal with 1L year and him being deployed so I called the Dean, explained things, was denied a deferral and dropped out before paying my deposit.

This year I gave up on applying together. Hubby's window of deployment extends until this October so he can still be deployed at any point between now and then. We started saving money towards my education so I wouldn't have as many loans, I switched engineering jobs to one where I am far happier and even though I make less money I don't come home every day wishing I had not woken up and gone to work that morning. Once the threat of deployment is over and his unit is in its reset year rather than deployment year we'll sit down and weigh our options again. It's kind of nice to be approaching this with such a financially responsible plan. With the economy what it is, I really worry for a lot of law students who are taking out $100k+ loans, with no guarantee that they'll ever be able to pay them back.

I'm so proud of my husband and while I never truly love the fact that he's in the military, I know what it means to him. It has changed the path our lives have taken, and definitely added a lot of stress. But I don't think delaying law school for two years will ultimately be something I look back on with regret. I'm only 25, and while I sometimes think that's old and I've wasted time waiting, it really isn't, I have plenty of time to take care of my family and my career.

This was my soldier

I won't post his name here because I don't want my family finding my blog under these circumstances.

This was my cousin. He was a West Point graduate serving with special forces in Iraq when he was killed on the 6th by an EFP. Last night, about 10 minutes before class my Mom called to tell me that my cousin had been killed on active duty. He was one of my closest cousins growing up and I have tons of West Virginia memories of us doing stupid things like floating along in inner tubes when the "crick" was flooded. I'm feeling like shit right now, not least because hubby is also in the Army and doesn't seem to see why this makes me so upset. I live in a military town in a military state in a BUSH country so it's not like I'm getting a lot of helpful comments. Instead, it's all, "Well, you know he was a hero." I know that he was a strong Christian and that he believed in what he was doing and loved it, and that should make me feel better, but I don't want to be told how I should feel, I just need to grieve a little and deal with personal family stuff.

He has requested burial in Arlington (DC) and depending on the family arrangements I might attend. I have never seen news footage of 9/11. On the day it happened I was at work and refused to turn on the TV when I got home. I didn't want to put myself through that emotionally. When reports come on Iraq that are at all personal I switch the channel. Not only did I have a cousin who was a Captain, I have a brother at West Point right now and a husband who joined ROTC in 2000 for the scholarship money, never imagining what the consequences of that would be. It's really hard to love the soldier and hate the war and not have everybody think you're a bad person in this country. Shouldn't everybody hate that we're at war, regardless of the reason for the war?

Me bursting into apparently random fits of tears isn't the best thing at my new job. I'm going to try not to think about this for awhile.

Well Done - Be Thou at Peace

"infidelity while on active duty in the army"

I was quite disappointed when I found out that my blog was the top result for a Google search of "infidelity while on active duty in the army." This two sided coin is a really sensitive issue, spouses cheating on soldiers and soldiers having too much fun in the desert, but with the national divorce rate as high as it is I'm sure it's not unique to the military. Thankfully I have not lived through a deployment yet, nor have I lived on a military base where this type of behavior is probably more common. To others who might find my blog this way I would offer that you should be concerned about preserving your marriage before your soldier even gets orders to deploy. Being a military spouse is hard, but making it work is really worth it. It will take work, don't kid yourself. If you are a 19 year old bride who married her high school sweetheart turned marine you're kidding yourself if you think that high school romance and gorgeous uniforms last. You have to put in the work, know when to listen and know when to shut up. This isn't just about you, you gave up "I" when you said "I do." Instead I want you to think about why you wanted to get married in the first place. Is what you have worth preserving? If so you won't be putting out personals ads looking for fun. Don't think of it as being left behind, neglected, lonely. Don't just be a dependent, stand on your own two feet and be yourself. Your marriage should be able to last and you should stand up and be your own interesting, unique and joyful person. Don't let yourself become bitter or paranoid. If you think that your partner trusts and loves you then you shouldn't have to worry about them either.

Oh and in case you're wondering why I would come up under a search like that in the first place, I did a review of a new TV show Army Wives awhile back.

LSAT Countdown Week 1

Hubby has Army Reserve drill this weekend so I have the whole house to myself. On top of catching up with laundry and other household chores I have a big stack of LSAT tests to take. This weekend I will try and get through 3. I will then use the Logic Reasoning Bible and Logic Games Bibles to analyze the ones that I get wrong. We'll see if it improves my score. *sigh* Sounds like a stellar weekend is ahead of me, but it needs to get done.

Scheduling

I just received the most beautiful school schedule ever. I was assigned to the only section without 8:30am classes.

Contracts 1:30PM - 3:25PM Mo & 3:00PM - 4:25PM TuTh
Torts 3:30PM - 5:25PM MoWe
Civil Procedure 10:00AM - 11:55AM WeFr
Legal Method & Writing 1:30PM - 2:25PM WeFr
Dean's Session on Study & Practice of Law 10:30AM - 11:55AM TuTh

And you know what I'm going to do? I'm about to call the law school and say that I won't be enrolling this year. I have plane tickets to go and the most beautiful school schedule ever and yet I'm not going. I have to wait until next year. Life simply got in the way.

We made every attempt to take the emotions out of this decision by quantifying it. Like the engineers that we are, we made spreadsheets calculating the 5 year and 10 year economic impacts of law school depending on whether I go to Schools A through J. It makes more financial sense to give up a year of engineers salary and go now because I'll get a year of lawyer salary at the end of law school sooner. It also makes more sense financially to go to a state school like University of Washington or Arizona State University than it does to go to Georgetown or Seattle University...no surprise.

So why on Earth am I doing this? Well there is the matter of the Patent Bar which I want to take and which I will have no time to study for while in law school. Then there is the fact that I have an entire household worth of stuff that I have to figure out how to move and pay to move ($5k, at least). And despite my attempts at getting financial aid all I got were loans. Then there is the Army, sitting there like a dementor out of a Harry Potter book, sucking all of the happiness out of every plan we make for our future. I have no security. I grasp at rumors and try to make the best decisions that I can based on them, only to have orders changed and rumors swept away. We were planning on October. He was going to get me all settled at school, come home and move our things in September and then stay with his parents waiting for the orders. It is now looking like Hubby won't be deployed until the new year and I just can't deal with a long distance relationship leading up to a year long deployment combined with the stresses of moving and 1L all in one semester.

If he isn't going to leave until January or February or March, then I would rather have him leave, followed by me knowing where I'm going to school, moving over the summer with plenty of time and doing 1L fall with him still gone. After the completion of 1L first semester in January or February or March he would get back and then we could get on with our lives from there. The hardest part of law school would be over without him to distract me from school and with law school to distract me from worrying about him.

There aren't any really big BAD reasons that I should go this year. I bet that any schools that I got into this year I'll get into next year again. If I retake my LSAT I might even get into a few schools that I didn't get into this year. I'll have more savings to cushion the financial blow. I'll have my patent bar under my belt so I'll be more employable.

Why am I trying so hard to justify this to myself? Maybe it's in my personality to pursue everything. I never say "no." I'm always the first one to volunteer. Once I set my mind on something I want, I pursue it immediately whether it is changing apartments, buying a car, getting engaged, anything. I'm not one to delay gratification of a future goal either. I'm very futuristic. This is hard for me. I know the "pros" list was longer than the "cons" list, but I'll always worry that I'm giving up more than the most awesome schedule in the world. I know I want to go to law school. I'm not doing this because I am bored or couldn't "hack" engineering. I am genuinely interested for many reasons and have a long list of why this will help me with my future goals. I take the debt load seriously. I'm ready. But I'm going to wait. *sigh* I guess I should probably call them and make some other applicant on the waiting lists day. I'm penning law school in my schedule for 2008 and Army you can just be damned if you think you're delaying me again.

The Best Laid Plans

I got my official acceptance letter from the school on Friday followed by a binder of welcome information on Saturday. Definitely the most information that I've received from any of the schools. I did appreciate the t-shirt from DePaul though. I looked through the paperwork and noticed that I have until July 6th to have my deposit received. Given that the earliest that I could mail it is Monday that is completely impossible. Mail to Alaska, as evidenced by when I received my acceptance letter, takes at least 7-9 days from whenever it is mailed in the states. Same goes the other way. I think I'll call them and ask for an extension, because that is just impossible. I don't want to mail my acceptance until after I've already tried to negotiate my financial aid. That means there is no time for a letter of negotiation. Perhaps an e-mail plea or a phone call so that I can get an immediate sense of whether I will get any aid. I'm sure they won't give me any more aid after I have sent in a deposit.

I also need to decide whether I want to go down early enough that if I want to establish residency for 2L and 3L years I will qualify with enough time in the state. As an Alaskan resident I could probably get a clerkship if I maintain my Alaskan residency until after graduation, but I'd have to pay a bunch more in tuition if I don't become a local resident. Would a clerkship be worth 20k in extra tuition for years 2 and 3?

Hubby waivers between hating the idea of moving and resignedly accepting it. He knows it would be better for me to be busy and being near his family will be better for me than being by myself or in Anchorage with my family. He probably won't be there for too much of school anyway. He is thinking his deployment will be fiscal year '08, which starts in October. But if he doesn't leave until say December, he won't get back until the following December to March time frame in which case I'll be 1/2 way done with school and only have another 1.5 years to go. This makes him feel better about it. It just makes me freak out. He's been my best friend since freshman year of college, even before we were dating. I don't know how I'll handle the stress of law school without him.

Move or no move, either way, we've decided to take advantage of being in Alaska while we can. Even if I'm not in school, this will probably be our last summer together here for awhile if he's off playing Army. For our 3rd wedding anniversary we're taking an early trip. It always turns out that we have holiday leave from work over July 4th weekend so we do something early for our anniversary and save our personal leave for later. So we're going to drive to Valdez, take a cruise to see the whales, glaciers, puffins and other wildlife, go on a hike to see the Bridal Veil Falls and spend a night camping on the Denali highway. It should be a fun trip. Valdez is one of my favorite places in Alaska and it's somewhere that we've never been together. I will enjoy sharing it with him. We'll still go out to dinner together on the actual day of our Anniversary, but this trip will be the main celebration. Enjoying a combination of outdoors, nature, wildlife and a balance of camping and hotels so as to not stress us out too much will be good. It will be an intro to camping as a couple which should be interesting. One night can't hurt too much even if I'm not very outdoorsy.

In preparation for the trip we tried to buy a tent today. We spent an hour and a half in the store today. One of the nice things about going to a local gear shop rather than a big retailer like Outdoorman's Warehouse is the personalized service that you get. We learned more than I ever wanted to know about tents and fabrics and we set up two different models in the store to see wether we liked them. They won't let you leave the store without having set it up. One of the tests of a good tent match is apparently whether it is intuitive enough to be set up correctly without reference to the directions. Hubby being a naturally outdoorsy Eagle Scout took the lead while I dumbly looked on. I helped when I could, but listening to him talk to the salesperson was like listening to a foreign language. I had no idea what they were talking about for the most part and in the end hubby left with a tent on hold to go home and sleep on it. I just think that the blue one with the metallic red poles looks better than the yellow and beige one with the silvery poles, but I'll be glad if he's happy. I don't really care about the tent.