I just received the most beautiful school schedule ever. I was assigned to the only section without 8:30am classes.
Contracts 1:30PM - 3:25PM Mo & 3:00PM - 4:25PM TuTh
Torts 3:30PM - 5:25PM MoWe
Civil Procedure 10:00AM - 11:55AM WeFr
Legal Method & Writing 1:30PM - 2:25PM WeFr
Dean's Session on Study & Practice of Law 10:30AM - 11:55AM TuTh
And you know what I'm going to do? I'm about to call the law school and say that I won't be enrolling this year. I have plane tickets to go and the most beautiful school schedule ever and yet I'm not going. I have to wait until next year. Life simply got in the way.
We made every attempt to take the emotions out of this decision by quantifying it. Like the engineers that we are, we made spreadsheets calculating the 5 year and 10 year economic impacts of law school depending on whether I go to Schools A through J. It makes more financial sense to give up a year of engineers salary and go now because I'll get a year of lawyer salary at the end of law school sooner. It also makes more sense financially to go to a state school like University of Washington or Arizona State University than it does to go to Georgetown or Seattle University...no surprise.
So why on Earth am I doing this? Well there is the matter of the Patent Bar which I want to take and which I will have no time to study for while in law school. Then there is the fact that I have an entire household worth of stuff that I have to figure out how to move and pay to move ($5k, at least). And despite my attempts at getting financial aid all I got were loans. Then there is the Army, sitting there like a dementor out of a Harry Potter book, sucking all of the happiness out of every plan we make for our future. I have no security. I grasp at rumors and try to make the best decisions that I can based on them, only to have orders changed and rumors swept away. We were planning on October. He was going to get me all settled at school, come home and move our things in September and then stay with his parents waiting for the orders. It is now looking like Hubby won't be deployed until the new year and I just can't deal with a long distance relationship leading up to a year long deployment combined with the stresses of moving and 1L all in one semester.
If he isn't going to leave until January or February or March, then I would rather have him leave, followed by me knowing where I'm going to school, moving over the summer with plenty of time and doing 1L fall with him still gone. After the completion of 1L first semester in January or February or March he would get back and then we could get on with our lives from there. The hardest part of law school would be over without him to distract me from school and with law school to distract me from worrying about him.
There aren't any really big BAD reasons that I should go this year. I bet that any schools that I got into this year I'll get into next year again. If I retake my LSAT I might even get into a few schools that I didn't get into this year. I'll have more savings to cushion the financial blow. I'll have my patent bar under my belt so I'll be more employable.
Why am I trying so hard to justify this to myself? Maybe it's in my personality to pursue everything. I never say "no." I'm always the first one to volunteer. Once I set my mind on something I want, I pursue it immediately whether it is changing apartments, buying a car, getting engaged, anything. I'm not one to delay gratification of a future goal either. I'm very futuristic. This is hard for me. I know the "pros" list was longer than the "cons" list, but I'll always worry that I'm giving up more than the most awesome schedule in the world. I know I want to go to law school. I'm not doing this because I am bored or couldn't "hack" engineering. I am genuinely interested for many reasons and have a long list of why this will help me with my future goals. I take the debt load seriously. I'm ready. But I'm going to wait. *sigh* I guess I should probably call them and make some other applicant on the waiting lists day. I'm penning law school in my schedule for 2008 and Army you can just be damned if you think you're delaying me again.
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10 comments:
I know you must be disappointed, but I'm sure you've given this a lot of thought, and have come to the conclusion that is ultimately the best one for you and your husband. It sucks how life gets in the way, eh?
Do you plan on asking for a deferral? IU granted me one, which makes it a lot less stressful knowing that no matter what happens, there'll still be a place in the bag. I'm sure if you explain the situation honestly, they'll be willing to at least consider it.
Sorry you won't be heading south in a couple weeks, but I'm a firm believer in the notion that everything winds up panning out precisely as it should in the end.
Do keep us posted.
-Justin (arctic)
I think you are making a really smart decision; you are dealing with so much - I can't imagine what it must be like for you and your husband, as he waits for deployment!
Law school is so demanding (what I hear from everyone I talked through that's gone through it); you have to be able to give everything you can to it. It has to be right, and you should do it when it is.
On a personal note, I also waited a year to begin law school and it was the best decision I ever made! I was supposed to start at ASU in 2006 but because of economic reasons I needed to delay my admission by a year. I simply called up the school and asked them what I needed to do in order to get a deferral - apparently, it only took a phone call because shortly thereafter I received a letter from them granting me a one-year deferral.
(In short, I highly recommend asking for a deferral from your schools because that will save you the agony of re-applying next year. You may have to re-submit your applications, but at least you have that certainty of knowing where you will end up.)
Sorry to hear you aren't starting this year, but believe me, next year will be here before you know it! All the best to you and your hubby!
Bexy, your comment really warmed my heart. Especially when I saw that ASU granted you the deferral. Was that assuming you would go there and not apply anywhere else? There is a chance I'll try the LSAT again and I wouldn't want to be locked in. But, I also don't want ethics violations to come up before the bar, similar to accepting a early decision offer at multiple schools. I'll be an avid reader of your blog as you go before me to ASU. I guess I'll have to live vicariously for awhile. Hmm...maybe you'll be able to give me good advice when I hopefully go there next year. And if you want my awesome schedule ask to take my place in Group 12, there'll be a spot coming open!
Justin, thanks for the comment. I'm glad people aren't just saying, what was I thinking. That would have really made me doubt myself, not what I need at this point.
Thank you so much for the nice note, LJT! (I also responded to you on my own blog, too - tee hee)
With ASU, I didn't have to commit to them at all! I never signed anything that stated I would definitely be going there... which was a relief because I thought they would ask for that. If you already signed the Letter of Intent, then just talk to them about how to be released from that - truly, the folks there are really nice and I'm sure they will make it easy for ya!
I considered re-taking the LSAT but decided not to, since I was concerned I might get a lower score, and that would be bad. So, I stuck with my original score and tried for Iowa, but didn't get in. Which I'm cool with.
My hope is to definitely keep my blog up and going in the midst of school craziness - so please keep in touch! And, I'll keep checking your blog!
Ooh, and I would love Group 12! It is the total dream schedule, you're right.
What a big decision! And it sounds like the right one. Your husband's deployment alone would make the decision more than justifiable, in my opinion!
Good for you.
Bexy, thanks I'll call them first thing Monday morning. You should call them to and tell them you want in group 12 and you heard there was an opening.
Zuska, wow comments from a famous law school blogger! Thanks for your encouragement. This is helping reassure me that I did the best thing for me.
during my gap years between undergrad and law school, lawyers--young and old--would advise "don't rush, law school will always be there." you have an abundance of reasons to wait. no doubt you'll be a better 1L, when you do start, for the time you're taking now.
I truly believe in kharma, in that the actions one takes affects more than just us. You have no idea what a blessing it is to hear that you are withdrawing from ASU. I only wish you the best, but your spot could be mine...I cannot go into detail about how or why I have been held off this long from ASU, but needless to say...when I learned today that you are withdrawing...I felt a feeling of peace come over me that I would received your spot.
I am a very spiritual person and trust in a supreme being that has a plan for each of us and our plans in this life hardly seem to go as we like...let me tell you though, that I always knew that ASU would let me in, just how and when were always questions marks.
Your decision has blessed another, and for that thank you.
good luck.
Sincerely,
ASU lurker
Dear ASU Lurker,
Let me know how things work out. I wish you the best and hope that you get my spot. It would be nice to know that this decision helped somebody else.
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