10/13/07

"infidelity while on active duty in the army"

I was quite disappointed when I found out that my blog was the top result for a Google search of "infidelity while on active duty in the army." This two sided coin is a really sensitive issue, spouses cheating on soldiers and soldiers having too much fun in the desert, but with the national divorce rate as high as it is I'm sure it's not unique to the military. Thankfully I have not lived through a deployment yet, nor have I lived on a military base where this type of behavior is probably more common. To others who might find my blog this way I would offer that you should be concerned about preserving your marriage before your soldier even gets orders to deploy. Being a military spouse is hard, but making it work is really worth it. It will take work, don't kid yourself. If you are a 19 year old bride who married her high school sweetheart turned marine you're kidding yourself if you think that high school romance and gorgeous uniforms last. You have to put in the work, know when to listen and know when to shut up. This isn't just about you, you gave up "I" when you said "I do." Instead I want you to think about why you wanted to get married in the first place. Is what you have worth preserving? If so you won't be putting out personals ads looking for fun. Don't think of it as being left behind, neglected, lonely. Don't just be a dependent, stand on your own two feet and be yourself. Your marriage should be able to last and you should stand up and be your own interesting, unique and joyful person. Don't let yourself become bitter or paranoid. If you think that your partner trusts and loves you then you shouldn't have to worry about them either.

Oh and in case you're wondering why I would come up under a search like that in the first place, I did a review of a new TV show Army Wives awhile back.